It is perhaps one of the greatest impossibilities of this life that God permits himself to be doubted.
So often I read the scriptures and a scoff at the duplicity and blindness of the characters sketched there. They were so nearsighted somehow- so unreliable in their character. Nations of them, beholding God and then, fallen. Even the great fathers of the faith could be characterized this way.
But, I’m coming to see that it is easy to miss miracles when you’re the one in the story. Like Ebeneezer Scrooge explaining away his Christmas ghost as a bit of undigested meat. I always thought that miracles had to be unmistakable. Like, impossible, to doubt. Every now and then you get one of those but truly I have found that in almost every situation there is room to doubt.
And it exposes my heart every time.
Faith is a liberating reality. It sets the heart free from burdens it can never actually bear but the down payment is steep. Its humbling and uncomfortable. It can even appear irresponsible at times. Might I look the fool? Even out of my mind? Certainly, to put all eggs in the God bucket… well giving Chance the credit sure goes over easier. But it’s not chance. And I know it.
The last three months of my life (perhaps longer) have been a series of miracles. The last twenty-four hours the most recent of them. No doubt I could publish them all here and it would read with such certainty- such finality. Wow! That is amazing how God speaks and… ” But I can promise you, each amazing God story I write here, or on some other platform, had room in our hearts to be doubted. To be diminished.
We get to choose. We get to choose whether or not we believe that God is so omnipotent, and so creative, and so ridiculously invested in our lives that He comes down and inserts Himself into our broken existence and makes miracles. We can listen for Him to speak and act or we can trudge through like this is all on us and you know what… He’ll let us. He won’t force himself down our throats.
I believe God is amazing. I believe He still speaks in dreams, He still talks to hearts and He still is going to finish what He started. There are miracles if we want to see them. And there is a lot of room on either side to doubt if we’d rather do that.
I don’t want to.
What does Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”[a]