“… for they know his voice.”
I was making my way down the stairs and the thoughts were coming in torrents. Godly desires were turning into good ideas and good ideas led to self-examination. The list of valid things to address were snowballing down the stairs with me. That is a good idea… I don’t have time for that right now… I’m a busy mom… I’m an impatient mom… I never finish anything I start… Wait, that’s not a kind thought… Still, do I quit when things get hard?… Because that’s a bad habit to have… I shouldn’t ignore that… Sometimes God says things that aren’t nice… Each that was so “true” I felt the need to hear it out. To entertain it. And just when I was about to drown in my own mind- one more thought (perhaps not my own.)
This is not how my father talks to me; this is not His voice.
Isn’t it interesting that it doesn’t say “they will know the kind of things I will say”. Still I often try to determine what is God “speaking” to me by determining if it’s true. Eventually, all these little truths start to intersect and collide with one another. Enter confusion and despair. But truths and truth are not the same thing. Truth is a person and when He speaks his sheep know his voice. Often that voice is tender when we think we’ve earned a rebuke and firm when we’d like to be coddled. Sometimes the things He says are mysterious or unexpected but His voice always calms the storm.
And in that moment, the sea of my raging thoughts went still. There at the bottom of the stairs I decided that there was only one voice worth inclining my ear to and I was free.
“…Lord, who will we go to? You have the words of eternal life.”