Certainties

In present days I have grown leery of men whose claim of faith has produced a series of systematic certainties in which they live and move and have their being. Neat and tidy lines of doctrine and subsequent protocols that form in them a guarantee of their own “rightness” somehow. This is not so much an indictment against them as it is a revelation about me.

If I am honest, my journey in Christ Jesus has presented me with far more questions than it has provided answers. It has not provided me the luxury of regimented code but instead has stripped me of nearly every sacred certainty I’ve ever had. It has challenged my allegiance to both nation and denomination. It has been an affront to my blatant  insecurity as well as my subtle arrogance. It has wrenched from my gnarled grasp every tie to this fading earth I’ve formed. And at every turn, in every confrontation I am face with that same loaded inquiry as was the zealot so long ago  “…but who do you say I am?”

And yet, somehow, in this most jealous of interrogations; in the midst of my deep agonies and despite murkiest devotion I find a Father of impossible beauty and gentleness; as endearing as He is holy. Though all around me be slight and shadow He has, in His glory, come into focus. Here, standing here, I am neither right, nor need to be. He is true. True beyond any sense of tangible certainty. And dogmas and doctrines suddenly pale in comparison to a heart beating out a response of devoted conviction. Convinced! Convinced of His goodness and His majesty.

Here it is- again this mystery. That in knowing, so much has become unknown till at last remains this one certainty.

“I am that I am”

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7 thoughts on “Certainties

  1. For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

    Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

  2. “Recognition of error is really, therefore, our major ground of hope of rationality. However hard it may be to be right, we can see, in many instances, where we are wrong” (Elton Trueblood in A Place to Stand).

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